So, the fairy lands. I have decided that I don’t like the fairy lands much.
As I have said before, I don’t understand the fae. They claim to live outside of human reasoning and logic, but everything in their home world reflects the human realm. And while I struggle with human “concepts” of reality as well, at least humans take the world they’re given and embrace it. Some reshape it to their vision of Truth. Others search for the Truth without changing their surroundings.
The fairy lands are twisted mockeries of the human world; a world patterned after the human one where the laws of nature are discarded on whims. I wonder what the fairy lands look like without the influences of humanity. What they were in a time before humans. That is, if the fairy lands existed before humans did, which I strongly doubt.
The moon here can’t decide what phase it wants to remain in. I suppose that’s good for Caleb - shifters seem to be obsessed with lunar cycles for some reason - but it feels like the fae copying something they saw in the human world without understanding the reasons why it exists. Even I can tell you lunar cycles are based on the positions of the sun, earth and moon and not because of magic or some other nonsense.
And yet, despite my mind telling me that nothing here is real, I’ve found myself trapped here with Caleb and Robin. The prison is real, even if I doubt the decorations. Malik’s book is still with me and, after quickly flipping through the notes on the fae, I’ve discovered that leaving this realm requires us to “challenge” Leanansidhe. I was hoping that just remaking myself as my other form would destabilize the world enough to allow us to escape. No such luck.
“Challenge” is a vague word and the fae love such things. I think they want outsiders to believe that it’s a challenge by combat. Instead, I want to make the challenge something very different - one-on-one fights don’t end well for me. My plan is to challenge Leanne Truth or Dare and ask her why she’s so interested in us. If we leave this realm without Leanne explaining herself fully, she’ll just come after us again and again. I don’t want to imagine where she places her “toys” that rebel.
I don’t think my challenge will play out as simple as I want. There’s some strange presence in the air here. It’s like the presence I felt when we stormed in on the cult’s ritual. It wants me to unmake myself, to embrace my other form, to reject the notion of passing for human. It doesn’t feel like the cult spell, which tried to rip apart my human form. Instead, it’s quietly and firmly telling me that I shouldn’t remain human here. I think it has valid points.
Huntstone agrees with those points.
Yeah, Huntstone is still in my head, although he’s been more subdued since we crossed over. I don’t think he’s faded away. I want to think he’s faded after being exposed to the fae realm, but I doubt I’m that lucky.
Huntstone reminds me that Israel said that he could sense another presence inside of me. And why would a fool like Israel ever lie to me?
But, there’s also my dreams. They were uncomfortably vivid last night. I slept in the broadcasting room at school last night. Even being in such a secure place didn’t help chase away the wraith. I dreamed of the ritual that sealed me in this mortal body, walking through all the pain and terror step by step, analyzing why the planned ritual backfired and killed Huntstone instead of fusing my existence with his.
Huntstone calls me an idiot for failing to put this all together.
He’s planning. Planning and observing. I’m fairly sure that Huntstone only knew of the fae realm through secondhand accounts. He never crossed over to their realm while I knew him. There must be something he wants here. Probably to separate him from me or take this body over. I’m... scared about either of those happening.
Robin is traveling with me, so I could talk to her. But I don’t want to show Robin my other side. She treats me like a friend - really the first person who ever has - but she’s a young human girl. Human minds can be surprisingly robust, but I don’t want to risk destroying her’s to make me feel better.
There’s this magic dust Robin has, though. She used it on Vincent and Caleb and it took away some of their supernatural abilities. I need to ask her to use some of it on me. I can play Truth or Dare without accessing all of myself. I can’t rebuild Robin’s mind if I’m forced to reveal my other self.
And if Huntstone did something to her... well, I’d never be able to forgive myself if that happened.
